How to Tell Your Boyfriend How You Want to Be Proposed To (Without Ruining the Surprise)

Lots of girls grow up imagining their dream proposal, and I’m no different. For as long as I can remember, I dreamed of being proposed to by the love of my life in Paris, France. The Eiffel Tower nearby, the aroma of fresh baked croissants, the beautiful sound of an accordion playing a native French tune. While not every woman dreams of a proposal in Paris, most women have some sort of perfect scenario dreamt up in their heads. 

But here’s the thing: most women don’t get their perfect proposal enacted for them because instead of communicating what they want to their soon-to-be fiancé, they keep it to themselves and pray that he reads their mind. This then leads to unmet expectations, disappointment and sometimes even hurt feelings. 

The problem is that from a very young age, we’re taught via rom-coms and romance novels that a proposal is supposed to be a big show that is a complete surprise to the unsuspecting girlfriend. In my opinion, this is total bullshit and completely unrealistic. 

First of all, marriage is a huge commitment. I mean, H U G E. We’re talking about merging two whole lives together, here! It’s a serious thing. At minimum, I believe that a conversation around this topic is necessary before a proposal begins to be planned. Both people should be on the same page when it comes to marriage, most especially if they’re not already living together. Big questions should be answered, such as: How many kids will we have, if any? Where will we live? What type of lifestyle do we want to have together? How important is religion to each of us, and are there any expectations around it? 

There are so many important things that should be discussed before a ring is bought and a question is popped.

I, being the practical go-getting woman that I am, started bringing up these hard topics about our future life when my now-husband and I were just barely in the beginning stages of our relationship. You might be thinking that’s a bit crazy and over-the-top, but I beg to differ. I knew what I wanted out of a partner and out of life, and I wasn’t about to waste time with someone who wasn’t on the same page as me. Besides, you know that old saying, “when you know, you know”? Well, I found it to be completely true, and so did my now-husband. Three months into dating, he confessed that after our first date, he went home and told his friends that he thought I was “the one”. Funny thing is, I did the same exact thing. 

At that point, we started discussing our future more seriously. The first big question for us was “how long should we date before getting engaged?” My answer was simple, I told him, “two years“. I wanted to date for a minimum of two years before jumping onto the marriage wagon because I wanted to make sure that we still loved each other deeply when the honeymoon phase ended and reality began to settle in. Thankfully, my now-husband quickly agreed with this. 

After hashing out all of the other big, important questions about how we wanted to spend our life together, the next was to discuss the wedding. My husband is from India and I’m a born-and-raised American, so we had some big decisions to make. Should we combine our two cultures into one blended wedding? Or should we have two separate weddings to give the proper attention to each of our two cultures? We chose the latter, though that’s a story for another day.

The last thing left to discuss: the proposal. This is an important moment for both of us as it signifies the beginning of our lives together, however this event is typically all about the woman (in straight couples, that is). This is one and only chance you’ll ever get to show your girlfriend how much she means to you, and it’s important that you show her this in a way that is meaningful to HER.

I did something completely unorthodox and decided to tell him where I wanted the proposal to take place: Paris, France. Additionally, I included a few small details such as the fact that I wanted the Eiffel Tower to be in the background, I wanted a professional photographer to capture the moment and, most importantly, I wanted to pick out my own ring ahead of time. Before you go calling me demanding, I’d like to note that my now-husband was RELIEVED to hear me say all of this. The idea of picking out a ring for me absolutely terrified him because he was afraid that he’d purchase the wrong one (how sweet!). 

While he agreed that he would definitely propose to me in Paris and go with me to pick out my ring, he did want some sort of element of surprise to make this big moment more “organic”, to which I agreed. Together we decided that I would not know what day he was going to propose, just as long as he made sure to hire a photographer and have the gorgeous Eiffel Tower in the background. A happy medium!

How It All Unfolded: My Proposal Story

As we began our initial walk on this bridge, I had a feeling that the proposal was coming. At one point, Monish asked me to face the Eiffel tower so that he could capture some photos of me gazing at it from behind. I just knew that this was the moment. There had to have been some photographer hiding around the corner, waiting for Monish to get down on one knee. I stood there for awhile, waiting. Eventually Monish said, “okay I’m done”. I turned around and found Monish standing there, ready to continue walking. I was confused because I just knew that this was supposed to have been the moment, but I trusted him and we continued making our way across this beautiful bridge.

While walking, I noticed something up ahead that seemed like a big setup. In the distance, I could see a giant heart arch in an area of the bridge that jutted out over the water. “Surely that’s not for me,” I thought to myself. We continued walking and he led me right to that exact spot. Still, I did not believe that this was all for me! Then I looked down and saw photo frames lining the white carpet that led to the heart arch, and inside these frames were photos of us. I now knew that yes; this was all for me.

I instantly started crying tears of joy. This was even better than my wildest dreams! Monish took my hand and walked me down the white carpet, a live violinist playing our song, “I Don’t Care” by Ed Sheeran as we made our way to the arch.

There, he took my hands and spent a moment telling me how much he loved me and the life that we’ve already built together, and how he can’t imagine spending the rest of his life with anyone other than me. Then he did the thing I’d been waiting for since the day I met him: he got down on one knee, pulled out the most beautiful ring and asked, “will you marry me?”

A crowd had formed nearby to watch this scene unfold, and they all erupted in cheers as I exclaimed, “yes!” I grabbed Monish’s face and kissed him, tears still streaming down mine. The violinist was still playing, so Monish pulled me close and we began dancing, taking it all in and enjoying every second.

This was the most magical moment of my life, even better than I had pictured it.

How He Turned My Dream Into Reality

This man of mine went above and beyond my wildest dreams! He took the time to do his homework, and he came across Les Entremetteuses, a proposal planning company located in Paris. Genius! He told her what he wanted, then let her handle everything. Not only did he pick the most gorgeous spot with the glittering Eiffel Tower in the background, but Paula coordinated a professional photographer, a videographer, the live violinist AND her team took the time to set up the most beautiful backdrop which included those photos of me and Monish along the white carpet.  

I was so blown away. 

This setup was located on Pont de Bir Hakeim, a bridge that travels across the Seine River that is known for holding the most beautiful view of the Eiffel Tower.

The Moral of the Story: Tell Him What Your Dream Looks Like

If there’s one thing I hope you take away from this story, it’s this: there is absolutely nothing wrong with telling your boyfriend how you’d like to be proposed to. In fact, it can make the moment even more meaningful. A proposal shouldn’t be about guessing games or hoping someone magically reads your mind; it should be about celebrating your relationship in a way that feels special to you. When you communicate what matters to you, you’re not “ruining the surprise,” you’re giving your partner the blueprint to create something unforgettable. My husband didn’t feel pressured by knowing what I wanted – he felt empowered by it. And because we talked openly about it, he was able to take my dream and turn it into something even more magical than I ever imagined. So, if you’re dreaming about a certain kind of proposal someday, don’t keep it a secret. Tell him what your heart hopes for and then let him work his magic.